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Katie M. Reid

Finding Grace in the Unraveling of Life

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Walking an unknown road with Joy

If you haven’t read the post A Practical Application of Proverbs 13:12, you will want to start there for the background to this story.

Last night we had one of our “Waiting Families Meetings” at our adoption agency.  These are usually quite bittersweet.  On one hand, you get good training on being an adoptive parent…on the other hand you are reminded that you are not one yet.  There is something about pulling up to our agency that makes me feel like I should be getting “our” baby news or meeting their birthmom- some sort of direct connection to the child we will adopt someday.

Over time I have gotten a bit better about changing my expectations to more accurately match the reality of the meetings.  And really, in fact, they are a type of connection with our child, since we are learning how to be better parents through them.

In the meetings we go around and introduce ourselves and the majority of the couples are in the waiting stage of adoption.  I told Hubby, “It is a room full of hurting people” (each with our unique story of loss).

Several months ago, after one of these meetings, another couple and I started talking (Hubby couldn’t attend this one), and I cut through the unspoken hurt filling the air like dense fog and said bluntly, “So, how are you guys doing with the wait?”  It sparked a good conversation about Ishmael, and how they had experienced others in their life saying, “Why don’t you do this or this instead of what you are doing” (regarding domestic infant adoption).  But, they were committed to seeing through what they felt God had lead them to do. 

From the few minutes that we talked they seemed like a great couple; felt like I had known them for years, the way they were so warm and open.  Confession time:  About once a month I get on our agency’s website to see which couples have a “Placement Pending”.  This usually means that they have been placed with a baby, but their adoption is not final yet.  Well, I was really happy when I looked recently and saw that this had happened for this couple.

Fast forward to last night and we saw this couple there as we walked in and I inquired excitedly, “Do you have a baby at home?”  “Yes we do,” they replied, “about two and a half weeks ago”.  Then, it started clicking and I asked one more question, “Was he born in ___________?”  “Yes he was,” they answered.  “Then I know about that little guy,” I said.

Their little guy was the one I told you about in the post mentioned at the beginning of this one.  Our Ishmael story was their Isaac story!  What an awesome moment, to realize that we were looking at the parents of this boy; they are in love with him and so so filled with joy at how God orchestrated his coming to them.  By the way, the meaning of his name is, “God’s gracious gift”.

After the meeting, we talked further with this couple and I said, “I don’t want to make you feel weird, but I want to tell you a story”…and I proceeded to tell her how we really wrestled with whether to bring her son home or not (since we were the first to get the call about him), but we did not feel a peace about it and I did not have a mother’s heart for him.  I remember thinking and praying for his adoptive parents and that they would have a mother and father’s heart for him and be “through the moon excited” to bring him home.  And, what an incredible blessing, to see, in the flesh, his mom and dad right there beaming from ear-to-ear,  telling us how great he is doing, showing us a picture of him (oh, to see a picture- there are so many faceless babies and birthmoms I hold in my heart).

And there in front of me is his adoptive mom, telling us “Thank you, thank you- thank you for listening to the Lord. What a gift.”

It was such a confirmation, again, that we had done the right thing in not bringing this baby home.  Thank you for those who joined us in praying that this boy would soon come home to his forever family; he is home!

She also told us how she has been praying for us and was really encouraging that our adoption will happen. Such a blessing, coming from someone who understands firsthand and gets it; this beautifully hard thing.

As we walk this unknown road, we have joy.  Joy knowing that He indeed is working, working it all our for good.

Thank you God, for all that you have already taught us on this journey.  For exercising our faith in challenging ways, out of love, so it grows and get stronger.  You know the days, the moments, when it feels overwhelming to wait.  Thank you for those from long ago, and around us, who are waiting too; showing us it can be done.  Nothing is too hard for You LORD…You, Sufficient, All-Powerful One.  Thank you for this gift of waiting, this gracious gift, that refines and brings out the ugly doubts, and stretches us and forces us to trust.  And thank you for the joy you give amidst the unknown.  Because You are in this, this adoption and our upcoming move.  The fears dissipate- because You are there, and here, totally capable of the impossible and able to equip the weak; us.

Deep Breaths:  How is your trust level with God?  What is an area that you are struggling in regards to trust?  Why?  Talk to Him about it and ask Him to help you take that next step, in faith, trusting that He is who He says He is.

Read through Revelation 4:1-11

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: adoption, gift, Grief, hope, joy, photography, scripture, waiting

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Hi, I'm Katie (a Modern Martha, wife, and mom to five). I'm so glad you're here! Let's enjoy some cut-to-the-chase conversation over hot or iced tea, as we find grace in the unraveling of life (together). Let's exchange try-hard striving for hope-filled freedom as we settle into our position as a doer and a daughter—created by a Loving Father.

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