• Home
  • Blog
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

Katie M. Reid

Finding Grace in the Unraveling of Life

  • Home
    • About
  • Books
    • Made Like Martha
    • A Very Bavarian Christmas
    • Judges Bible Study
  • Blog
    • Disclosure
  • Podcast
  • Speaking
  • Store
    • Resources
  • Singing
  • Contact
    • Privacy Policy

in Listen Close· Listen Well

Listen Close, Listen Well: The Luxury of Listening (Ashley Hales)

Listen Close, Listen Well series, graphic by Traci Little for Katie M. Reid

Welcome to another installment of the Listen Close, Listen Well series. Let’s give a warm welcome to today’s special guest, Ashley Hales, a talented writer and poetic soul.

Ashley Hales headshot

Ashley Hales holds a Ph.D. in English from the University of Edinburgh, Scotland. But she spends most of her time chasing around her four children and helping her husband plant a church. Her writing has appeared in such places as Books & Culture, ThinkChristian, (in)courage and SheLoves Magazine. She is a contributing monthly editor at The Mudroom and a member of Redbud Writers Guild. She writes at: www.aahales.com. Get free story therapy when you subscribe to her blog.

When Listening Feels Like a Luxury

By Ashley Hales

Listening closely and listening well seem a luxury most days. There is dinner to be made, the witching hour to get through, homework and at least one child meltdown to navigate. I tally up the time it takes to get to and from baseball, the groceries that need buying and preciously guard any alone time in the process. We blast music for our youth to redirect the crazy into laughter, whoops and hollers, and the silly dancing you can do when you know you are loved.

But these are just ways to calm the chaos. They do not automatically help us to lean in.

If I’m going to listen, I need less noise and to purposefully create room.

When I am empty, my eyes roam. My body reaches out for the quick fix: the caffeine, the sugar rush, the endless scrolling on social media. My fingers are curved into a phone shape and my thumb keeps pushing upwards – my body enacting the thought that all the Facebook photos, the witty Twitter sayings, and the pretty succulents on Instagram will fill the empty.

But I know, of course, that social media does not fill up empty, tired, worn out spaces in the soul. So I do the hard, unseen, unnoticed work. I’m throwing out sugar, deleting social media on my phone, not because these are bad things but I am losing my ability to be moderate in their usage. Detox programs are for the sick, and we all choose our poisons. Mine just look socially acceptable.

It is, of course, not simply about removing apps and jellybeans, but also about taking on life-giving habits. Making room is re-inscribing liturgies in my heart. I’m quick to think that new habits will save me. If the caffeine won’t do it, then I just need to buckle down, check off my devotional time, and vow to put my phone down and always speak gently to my children.

I trade one noose for another.

Chalk drawing via Creative Commons

I’m attempting to do the harder work. The breathing. The sitting. The closing of my computer and talking a walk in the sunshine. It’s the unseen discipline of making room and clearing out mental and physical clutter in the audacious hope that something better will take its spot. That God will fill up all the empty spots in my flesh and soul.

So I clear out space and I wait.

I watch my 2-year-old’s heavy-footed run, my 4-year-old running around the baseball game barefooted with his Batman cape and mask. I lean in to my 7-year-old’s need to be held even when I want to squirm for personal space. At bedtime in a moment of quiet, I caress the forehead of my 8-year-old son, the boy who is becoming bigger before my eyes. These are the people before my eyes, under my nose, whose words matter more than what the people say on the Internet about my writing.

I notice. I breathe. I lean in to the small and I expect that a God who knows my name, who has “engraved me on the palms of his hands” will draw near, too. That all my gaping spaces will be filled.

I lean in and wait.

Making Room,
Ashley

P.S. Get caught up on the other “Listen Close, Listen Well” posts below:

Not Ours to Give Away by Tiffany Parry

Lean In My Daughters by Kerrington Sweeney

Listening When It’s Loud by Teri Lynne Underwood

Fear and Doorknobs by Kim Osterholzer

What God Wants by Crystal Hall

Preparing a Place by Abby Banfield

 

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Filed Under: Listen Close, Listen Well Tagged With: confession, healing, reflections

Previous Post: « She is Priceless & Raising Grateful Kids (Book Review & Giveaway)
Next Post: Listen Close, Listen Well: His Grace Isn’t Just for Today (Abby McDonald) »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Niki Hardy says

    May 12, 2016 at 8:44 am

    Thankyou for this beautiful reminder to lean in and wait.

    • Ashley Hales says

      May 12, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      You’re welcome Niki. Leaning in and hen the waiting is such hard work. Sometimes I’m not up to it. But there are gifts there too. Wishing you well today.

  2. Lux G. says

    May 17, 2016 at 4:43 am

    This is beautiful. To listen and be listened to nowadays is gold.

    • Ashley Hales says

      June 9, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      Thank you so much, Lux. Listening is such a gift indeed!

  3. Kelly says

    July 31, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    “Empty, tired, worn out spaces in the soul…trade one noose for another.”

    Wow. Have you been reading my spiritual mail? All the empty, worn out spaces so get the better of me, in this stretch of endless summer torture; days where “mom” is worse than a swear word, or nails on a chalkboard. Knowing I am so. very. empty. I seek solace, ways to fill me up again so I can continue to pour out. Exercise, eat well, clean house, sugar, alcohol, “mom dates,” scheduled bible reading, 12-month Hawaiian vacation alone… Good intentions, but wrong answer. I think what God wants and I need is good ole “cry out to God on bended knee” session, to feel, cry, scream, calm, listen and receive God’s good grace. If only I could get over the guilt of that “luxury,” and the endless list of to-dos, needs and wants of my family. But really, it’s not a luxury, is it?

    Today I chose to forgo church in swap for calm, quiet rest. And read this post. I do believe it was just what I needed.

Primary Sidebar

katie reid headshot

MEET KATIE

Hi, I'm Katie (a Modern Martha, wife, and mom to five). I'm so glad you're here! Let's enjoy some cut-to-the-chase conversation over hot or iced tea, as we find grace in the unraveling of life (together). Let's exchange try-hard striving for hope-filled freedom as we settle into our position as a doer and a daughter—created by a Loving Father.

Read More

Subscribe for regular updates & receive a free video series.

Made Like Martha

Made Like Martha
Buy Now

Echoes of My Heart

Echoes of My Heart CD
Buy Now

Favorites for You

25 affiliate resources for communicator creatives and busy women

This site uses affiliate links.
Click here to read the full disclosure.

Footer

Search This Site

Recent Posts

  • God, What Do I Do? Bible Study Introduction with Katie & Lee
  • Looking Back, Looking Ahead with Katie and Lee
  • Benefits of Chiropractic Care with Dr. Lianne Coombe, B.A., D.C
  • Seven Ways to Get Healthy with Kelly Cullen, ND

Stay Connected

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2025 Katie M. Reid · Design by The Design Diva · Development by MRM

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT