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Katie M. Reid

Finding Grace in the Unraveling of Life

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in Encouragement· RaRa Linkup

Be Yourself (#RaRaLinkup)

Stop Comparing by Katie M Reid

Have you ever tried on a dress that was just not your style—ill-fitted for the shape God gave you?

I have been “blessed” with a pear shape figure, smaller on top and curvy on bottom; literally. Straight, fitted dresses are a death sentence for my body type. I need extra material down south to cover the bulk.

Last week I tried to wear a style that was not flattering on me. No, it wasn’t a dress style, it was a writing style. I tried to pull on a style that looked good on others, but it wasn’t a good fit for how He’s made me.

I was trying to wear something shiny to gain attention and maximize impact.

It didn’t lay nicely and it felt uncomfortable.

I was conflicted. I was trying hard for it to fit, but it just wouldn’t. It did not complement how I was made, much to my dismay.

But here’s the thing, God made each of us a certain way, completely on purpose.

While we might be irritated with the largeness or smallness of our mold, He was intentional when He spun us on the Potter’s Wheel.

So, after much tugging, I laid down the ill-fitting, yet lovely garment and put on my comfy t-shirt. The one that says, “Your Yes Matters!”

And I breathed, deep.

I felt at peace, at ease, and I didn’t look so bad either.

Sometimes I need a pep talk, to remind me of who I am and that what I have to offer is important. Maybe you do too?

Sometimes, okay often, I need to be reminded of truth and hear that I am loved and appreciated. You too?

Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Come As You Are Image by Katie M Reid

You are welcome here.

Yes, I’m talking to you.

You are not ignored, overlooked or forgotten by the One who wove you together. You have a place here. You have a voice to encourage, a heart to pray and kindness to share. You don’t have to be anyone else but you. Your life’s story is uniquely yours, entrusted to you by God.

Are you walking down the path that He has set before you or are you trying to hop on over to another path—because it looks prettier, wider and easier?

Do you see others doing “big things” and want to do the same? Do you think, If I try and do what they have done, or are doing, then I will find success.

When we sidestep the path ahead we do ourselves and others a disservice.

As we walk forward, taking the next step, may I remind you that you are welcome here.

You don’t have to have it all together—none of us do.

You have permission to be yourself. Don’t be a chameleon who changes what they look like based on the environment they are in.

Be you, be true.

You are created by God for such a time as this. You are one-of-a-kind-wonderful and we want to get to know YOU, not someone who is trying to be somebody they are not.

  • What is the next step that you feel God is asking you to take? Share it in the comments and let’s uplift one another as we walk forward.
  • Maybe you don’t know what the next step is and that is more than okay. It’s more about an abiding relationship with Jesus and being on a journey with Him vs. racing towards a desired destination. Oh, how often I forget this.

And can I tell you, I think that outfit looks good on you. 😉

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P.S. Join us on the Cheerleaders for Christ #RaRa Facebook Page and be uplifted as we support one another during the week.

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Filed Under: Encouragement, RaRa Linkup Tagged With: community, confession, faith, friendship

Previous Post: « Unraveling Grace: Out of Control
Next Post: Unraveling Grace: Fears for Your Kids »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Karen Brown says

    July 28, 2015 at 5:38 am

    Oh, Katie- we should go shopping together sometime! Or, better yet- we should just hang out and eat pears in sweatpants! I feel ya here! So many times, I’ve tried to pretend and “fit” into a mold that just wasn’t meant for me. Thanks for reminding me that God meant me to be me- and He has a unique purpose for my life. Your words always bless, friend. xoxo

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:16 am

      Shopping and pears sounds great, are they dipped in chocolate?!

  2. Leah Adams says

    July 28, 2015 at 5:59 am

    Oh gosh, so often I have longed to be a funny writer, but I just am not. God has not gifted me that way, so I have learned to write from my giftings. Bless you for hosting the linkup today!!

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:17 am

      I hear ya Leah. You keep being you—uniquely wonderful. 🙂

  3. Ifeoma Samuel says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:05 am

    Thank you Katie. This is sincere and in you many of us can totally relate with your experience with your out fit.
    “Be real and Be You”

    Precious Blessings to you

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:18 am

      HI Ifeoma- Thank you. Hoping you are doing well and have a great day.

  4. Betsy de Cruz says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:15 am

    Friend, you’re speaking to my heart here. 🙂 I need to hear, “That outfit looks good on you,” literally, because I have the same body shape as you, only, um, I’m carrying around a few more pounds. (Not comparing, just stating a fact! 🙂 ) But that goes with my writing style too, I guess. What a great analogy, something we sisters all need to hear?

    My next step? pursuing free-lance writing this fall! Scary, I’ve already gotten some rejections.

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Hi Betsy- So excited that you are pursuing freelancing. Checkout christwriters(dot)info for a revolving list of places to publish (on main page and open submissions tab). Can’t wait to share your post this Thursday here. My hubby and I were laughing so hard at the experience your son found himself in and I know many will relate to fears in motherhood too.

  5. Tania Vaughan says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:17 am

    What a great post Katie and speaks into exactly where I am as you will see by my own link up – I am putting everything down for that exact reason – I got distracted by comparison and trying to write like everyone else. I want to seek what is my truth and my calling and this is just confirmation to my Spirit thank you for your words xx

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:22 am

      I understand Tania, thank you for being transparent. It is such a hard thing to not compare. My new friend, Cindy Bultema, just said this at the Speak Up Conference, “A victory for you is a victory for me, because we’re on the same team.” This attitude helps curb competition and exposes the enemy’s strategy to divide and discourage us. You are one-of-a-kind wonderful!

  6. Mary Geisen says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:18 am

    I love your style on you Katie and I understand that when reaching for the latest style it might not be comfortable on us even though “everyone is wearing it”!!! I am working toward next steps for me as I learn to get comfortable in my retired skin. I wait expectantly as I ask God to lead me to what He has called me to next. I look to the future that will be comfortable because I am letting God show me the way. Thank you for these words and for hosting the #RaRalinkup today.

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:24 am

      Hi Mary, Thank you for waiting on God as He directs your steps in this season. I often run ahead and it gets me into trouble. Thanks for your example.

  7. beth willis miller says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:22 am

    Katie, what a great post! Love your transparency…you reflect Jesus in your words…thank you for encouraging us to be who we are, knowing Whose we are … Many blessings to you ❤️

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:25 am

      Good morning Beth- Thank you. Hoping your day is full of joy and peace as you keep in step with the Spirit- neither lagging behind nor running ahead. 🙂

  8. Beth says

    July 28, 2015 at 6:54 am

    Oh, how I just love these words of encouragement, Katie. Good words to kick-start the day. Love you, friend. Keep being you because I think you are simply AMAZING! xoxo

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Hi dear Beth- Great to “see” you this morning. Looks like you are having a great summer. You are a blessing to me!

  9. Tai East says

    July 28, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Awesome words of encouragement here, Katie! Thank you for such a timely message! Peace and many blessings to you, Love! 🙂

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:26 am

      HI Tai- You are most welcome. Keep shining as you reflect the Son. 🙂

  10. Tyra says

    July 28, 2015 at 7:27 am

    Katie,
    Let me 1st say you are WEARING those jeans in the pic hanging off the train. They look great on you! Secondly, I love the updates to your site. I too have tried on another “voice” and it didn’t fit. I’m so glad that the Father and I are close because he immediately check me on it in a gentle loving way. He reminded me that “my voice” was necessary and valuable just as it is. He went on to confirm that he has an audience whose ear is attuned to my voice and if I altered my voice I would not reach the people He needed me to reach. So today I’m rocking my custom made voice and it fits me perfectly. Blessing to you friend.

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 8:24 am

      Hi Tyra- You are too kind, thank you. 🙂 Yes, you keep using that custom-made voice, we need to hear it. Be you, be true and keep speaking as He leads.

  11. Kristine says

    July 28, 2015 at 7:36 am

    Great post, Katie! This past week at She Speaks, I was presenting a proposal on this very subject – comparison. I’ve been working on the manuscript for a while, but before I went to the conference, God impressed something upon my heart. He knew that I would meet someone else who was speaking or writing on this topic as well, and I needed to RESOLVE that I would not let that steer me away from finishing the book. In other words, it’s just like Glynnis said when she was writing the book on procrastination – she was experiencing it herself! By listening to God and being pro-active, I was able to be steadfast in His promise and not give in to comparison when it tried to creep in:) Sorry, long-winded comment. Just like a writer, huh?

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 8:31 am

      Hi Kristine- We need that book written. And, yes, of course, He is challenging you to apply your message to yourself. I can’t tell you how many “tightly wound woman” opportunities I am faced with- at times it is frustrating, other times it is affirming that I and many others needs this message.

  12. Susan B Mead says

    July 28, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Katie, simply reading you are welcome here makes me FEEL welcome, involved and known. Wow. That was powerful to read. And how often do we assume folks know that they are welcome versus actually welcoming them into our space, our life, our home.

    Beautiful. Thank you for also reminding us to be … us. Hugs, Susan

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 8:31 am

      Hi Susan- Thank you for your kind words. Excited to see you soon!

  13. Candace says

    July 28, 2015 at 8:12 am

    Your words are so meaningful to me today, Katie. I have been trapped on that comparison train for a while now, especially with my writing. You are so right: It is truly exhausting. Thank you for this much needed encouragement today! Keep being uniquely you :)!

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 8:33 am

      Good Morning Candace- Yes, the exhaust from the train stinks. 🙂 Keep being you and stay laser-focused on the track ahead.

  14. Angela Parlin says

    July 28, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Katie, I just love this so much. You are encouraging and welcoming, and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! Praying God blesses you in the middle of your Tuesday. 🙂

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 8:39 am

      Thank you sweet Angela. I love it that I can hear your voice as I read this- hurray for Voxer. 🙂 Thank you for holding close to the Lord and His Word. Your steadfastness inspires and grounds me.

  15. Linda Stoll says

    July 28, 2015 at 8:40 am

    I love those words, ‘you are welcome here,’ Katie! I put them out there as often as I can to those who come visit me … online, at home, or at the counseling office.

    It lets others know they are safe and loved and valued. And isn’t that what we’re all yearning for?

    ;-}

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      Yes indeed Linda. This phrase puts us at ease, doesn’t it?

  16. Dawn says

    July 28, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Gentle and wise advice to stay close to the heart of who He made each of us to be. The words have been sparse for me this summer as I am unwinding from busy and there is a not so gentle nudge that makes me guilty for not pushing these words out in order to be seen. But that is not why I write and beign seen by the ONE who makes my soul sing has to be enough, otherwise it is false, hollow and selfish.
    I, too, admire and appreciate the voices of so many writers/bloggers who are succeeding in leaps and bounds. I have heard people tell me to write this many words, or include this in each post, or make it look like this and so many times it just feels not like me and the message is not what I want.

    Thanks for the necessary reminder today, Katie!
    Blessings,
    Dawn

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      Hi Dawn, Thank you for your comments and for pointing us back to the main thing- Jesus and following His lead over man. I needed this reminder from you, thank you.

  17. Kelly Balarie says

    July 28, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Thank you for encouraging my heart Katie. These were loving words that totally have made their home in me as I go forward today.

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:01 pm

      Thank you dear Kelly. What a joy to host the linkup today, thank you for welcoming me to your space and for your friendship; precious gifts.

  18. ~Karrilee~ says

    July 28, 2015 at 10:23 am

    Oh friend, I think we all fall for that temptation from time to time – to ‘put on’ something that doesn’t fit and wasn’t made for us… Often times, it’s in the trying things on that I have come to really know who I am. It’s a process and one that is meant to pull us closer and closer to who and how He fashioned us to be! (Ya see what I did there?) 😉 Loved this! (And I always feel welcome here! Thanks for that!)

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      Great point Karrilee—sometimes we don’t know it doesn’t fit until we try it on. Clever wording, “fashioned”, love it. 🙂

  19. Lois Flowers says

    July 28, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Katie, I’m glad you paid attention to those conflicted feelings and chose the comfy t-shirt over the ill-fitting style. I happen to like your way with words very much and think what you’ve written today is so important. (In my life, my husband provides that much-needed “other set of eyes” for my writing, and I’ve learned to pay close attention when he says, “This doesn’t sound like you.”) 🙂

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      What a gift your husband is giving you with that feedback. Keep using your voice to speak and write Lois. 🙂

  20. Lauren Gaskill | Making Life Sweet says

    July 28, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Websites, social media platforms, speaking engagements, books and other things might give others the appearance that our lives are perfect, but you are so right — none of us has it all together. The only one who had it all together was Jesus, and I am forever blessed to have Him as my one and only Savior. All glory goes to Him!

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      Yes indeed Lauren, great reminder. Thanks for being here and taking the time to comment.

  21. Kamea Hope says

    July 28, 2015 at 11:20 am

    Love this, Katie! The church that I attend has a motto on their sign “Come as you are…” I love that God loves and accepts us just as we are, that nothing we could ever do could make him love us more. Yet He continually restores and refines us, so that we can better reflect the love of Christ.
    Beautiful 🙂

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Amen Kamea!

  22. Melanie Redd says

    July 28, 2015 at 11:35 am

    Great words today, Katie! Thanks for sharing such a positive and affirming post!

    And, thanks for hosting today.

    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Thank you Melanie. Hope that your Tuesday has been terrific. 🙂

  23. Tiffany says

    July 28, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Always love your welcoming words, Katie. And the permission you give us to let go and be who God made us to be. So grateful that we have a community that warmly welcomes us with love and grace. Thanks for hosting the link up today in your beautiful home. xo

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Thank you sweet Tiffany. It is a joy to host all your fabulous ladies and your words.

  24. Ellen Chauvin says

    July 28, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Beautiful post Katie! I loved your analogy of the clothes for your body type, and writing. Yep, sometimes we try on writing styles that are not a good fit!

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      Hi Ellen- Thank you. I hope you had a great conference! Glad to see you here.

  25. Dianne Thornton says

    July 28, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Thanks, Katie, for this right-on encouragement. In the blogosphere, it is so easy to look at others and compare. But I love “Be you, be true. You are created by God for such a time as this.” God’s woman for God’s time for God’s purpose. Love it.

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      “God’s woman for God’s time for God’s purpose.” I like that Dianne!

  26. Lisa Morris says

    July 28, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    I am so the person you just described. It is encouraging to know that I am not going this walk alone. Thank you so much for your honesty and openness! I am new to this link up thing: ) The encouragement is such a Blessing.
    God Bless You,
    Learning Beside You, Lisa:)

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      You are most welcome here Lisa. Glad you are linking up and hope that you are deeply encouraged today.

  27. Tara says

    July 28, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Katie, I think that outfit looks good on you too! I think it can be so easy for us to think we are not enough, but the truth is we are! God made us uniquely to be who God created us to be! I don’t know what the next step is for me. But my one word for 2015 is “brave.” I am a single 36 year old who yearns deeply to be a mom and wife. I’ve been praying about foster care and/or adoption. Thanks for the reminder to trust God and be completely who God created me to be! Loved this post!

    • Katie says

      July 28, 2015 at 7:15 pm

      Brave is a great word for 2015. Praying that God will clearly lead and guide you as you seek His will and “next steps.”

  28. Meg Gemelli says

    July 28, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Yes! I tinker with different types of descriptions and word combos and all I can think is, that’s just not me! You used such a cute metaphor today. The very best version of “me” failing is still better than the worst copy of somebody else succeeding. God honors the authentic us pursuing His will, and it just doesn’t get better than that:) Great post today Katie and thank you for hosting!

  29. Katie says

    July 28, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Thank you for this Meg, “The very best version of “me” failing is still better than the worst copy of somebody else succeeding.” A joy to host y’all. 🙂

  30. Kathi Roach says

    July 28, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    Katie, this is beautifully written and such a good reminder. These were definitely words I needed to read. This is my first time at the #RaRalinkup. I happened to sit with Kelly & Angela at dinner one of the nights at SheSpeaks. I am super happy to have found you ladies. Have an AWESOME day. xoxo, Kathi

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 7:10 am

      Welcome Kathi- We are glad that you are here. So glad that you were able to sit with Kelly and Angela, what a treat. Make yourself at home as we encourage one another and make Him known. 🙂

  31. Kristi Woods says

    July 28, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Oh Katie, my body style understands the dress scenario. The bottom side of my mold is bigger, too! 😉 Plans right now include spending time with God, reviewing SheSpeaks info, and creating follow-up action steps. Encouraging post today, Katie. Thank you!

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 7:12 am

      HI Kristi- I’m glad I’m not alone. 🙂 I’d love to hear a few of your highlights from She Speaks. Happy listening for Him, processing your time and then moving forward (you have those things in a wise order for sure).

  32. Debbie W. Wilson says

    July 28, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    Katie, I love your writing style and your analogy of trying to wear a writing style that doesn’t fit. I have admired others writing and wished I was more clever or funny. I’ve come to better appreciate who I am. I think sometimes it is hard to see your own strengths. Thanks for a wonderful blog!

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 7:13 am

      Hi Debbie- Yes, I agree that it can be hard to see our own strengths—especially when we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. Blessings to you as you offer who you are to others; a gift.

  33. lc says

    July 29, 2015 at 6:05 am

    Hi Katie. I’m pear shaped too! Woohoo 🙁
    I don’t have a clue what God’s will is for me and my life. At age 54, divorced, unemployed, and 3 1/2+ years of turmoil and depression, I believe I’m finally making a little progress with trusting and resting in the love and acceptance God has for me. While I can’t say I’m out of the darkness, at least I’m moving. ..even if I’m only crawling. Thanks for the encouragement!♡

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 7:15 am

      Movement is good. 🙂 I am sorry about what you have been through but praying that God will hold you together as you move forward slowly but surely. You are loved by the King.

  34. Anastasia says

    July 29, 2015 at 8:59 am

    I needed this reminder today, thanks!

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      You are most welcome Anastasia- just as you are.

  35. Susan Shipe says

    July 29, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    Katie, this is so darn good. How often we think we should change things up. So & so’s blog gets more traffic so if I just wrote like her. Etc Etc Etc. God gave me and you, and you, and the other you reading this a voice, a style, and He doesn’t want a bunch of puppets pumping out words that sound the same! Great post – I love it. I’m cheerleader #100 on the linkup!

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      Hi Susan- Agreed. Let’s keep being uniquely us and spread His love.

  36. Trudy says

    July 29, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Thank you for this encouragement, Katie. I need these reminders as I’m too often on the comparison train. Again and again God reminds me to be who He created me to be and use the voice He’s given me. By the way, you look lovely. 🙂

    • Katie says

      July 29, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      You’re welcome Trudy. Keep being you.

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