I met Molly at the She Speaks Conference last year. Her book idea surrounding the “Fight To Be Still” resonated with this tightly wound woman. May her message challenge us to lay down our boxing clubs and lift up the white flag of surrender; resting in His ability to keep things under control.
Molly is a feisty Jesus chick who is enthusiastic about helping women discover their true identity in Christ. She resides in Iowa with her husband and their two school-aged sons. Family time involves watching the NFL, movie nights, driveway chats with neighbors and serving at church. Molly works as a Project Manager in the Financial Services Industry, leads a women’s life group, and administers social media at church.
After experiencing a period of darkness, Molly came face-to-face with the fight to be still. As a tactical strategy, Molly pursued surrender in the areas of: self-solving, depression, perfectionism, control, and insecurity so that she could align her identity with that of Christ. She lives out this re-aligned identity through blogging, writing, speaking and ministering to others.
Pinning Control to the Carpet
I think there is a direct correlation between surrender and faith; with surrender comes a faith test.
The minute we surrender—or in the following days—it seems like God finds situations to test the sincerity of our decision and we are presented with a choice: walk in faith or go back to our old ways; move forward through pain or remain numb to our current anxieties; trust His Word or revert back to self-solving tendencies; stay surrendered or do things our way—because it’s familiar and comfortable.
Or maybe that’s just me.
It’s a test.
It’s a choice.
It’s a fight to stay surrendered.
The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.”
– Exodus 14:14
Wednesday evenings are my writing time and concentrated Jesus time. One particular Wednesday, I had some knock-your-socks-off amazing face-time with God. I let go and surrendered deep places that He was beckoning me to give to Him—to reshape, remold, and re-purpose.
God continues to chisel at the junk to get to the true me that He created. (<===Click To Tweet)
With my favorite worship music playing in the background I laid face down on my mascara-stained carpet, in my royal-purple office space:
Just me and my friend, Jesus.
Just me and God, my Abba Father.
Just me and the one who guides, the Holy Spirit.
More tears escaped—mingled with more mascara—onto the carpet. And I prayed the scary word, “surrender”:
Oh control, you are seductively comforting.
The Lord promises to comfort.
Oh fear, you are so second nature.
Perfect Love casts out all fear.
Oh silence, how I keep busy instead of allowing you to settle me.
Be still and know that I AM God.
But I can fight my own fight, I’ve been doing it forever, you wired me this way, and I’m good at it.
The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.
Sweet Jesus forgive me.
I have heard your cry, go and sin no more.
Let thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.”
And I felt nothing. NOTHING! No big “ah ha” moment, no big emotional lift, no life-changing God-prompted text or Facebook message from a trusted friend. Just the knowledge that God and I had just done some MAJOR work and I knew it was finished. I had wrestled control and fear to the ground, for the last time.
Or so I thought.
Friday, that’s right, just TWO days later…I got a phone call with some potentially life-altering news. For a split second, panic rose and the next second I contemplated self-solving. I crafted plans and contingency plans—figuring out what to do now, what to do in the future, the Google searches to be done—the anxiety mounted after each thought.
I stopped the madness in my mind. I stopped before I even started writing a new to-do list, I hung my head low as I remembered that JUST TWO NIGHTS BEFORE I begged, prayed, sobbed and surrendered myself over to God, again.
See I’m doing a new thing. Don’t think about what happened a long time ago, because I am doing something new! Now you will grow like a new plant. Surely you know this is true.” –Isaiah 43:19
With one phone call it was like He was standing there asking, Do you trust me?
In my mind’s eye I engaged in an epic stare-down with God, because I have a fight in me that won’t quit.
But I blinked first, the realization that I’m-really-nothing-compared-to-God, settled in.
There was a soft, yet powerful invitation to walk in faith, to choose to trust God—where I don’t try to control the outcome but let Him be Abba Father and treat me like a protected daughter, where He can fight for me and where I can rest while He fights.
I don’t yet know the final outcome of that phone call, but as of today:
- I have hope in faith, peace in my heart, and a calm mind,
- I know that no matter the outcome of the next phone call, Jesus has me,
- I’m learning that I can be scared and brave at the same time;
- I’m confident that I’m staying surrendered.
You are invited to the challenging but beautiful place of surrender. The outcome of a surrendered life is a full life with the Father. Let Jesus love you lavishly, while He fights for you. Exchange control and fear for peace and rest. It will be life-altering, in the best way.
- What is God beckoning you to surrender?
- Are you ready for that surrender/faith-test combo?
- Will you choose to trust Him and stay surrendered?
P.S. Enjoy the rest of the #UnravelingGrace series:
January: Hurts, Hope and Healing by Jennifer Watson
February: For the One Who Doubts God’s Sovereignty by Abby McDonald
March: Beating Inflating Fears by Kelly Balarie
April: When Life Unravels and You’re Barely Hanging On by Bethany Huff and Function in Chaos by Renee Griffin
May: Not that “Be Still” Thing Again! by Amy Dalke and Getting A Grip By Loosening It by Celeste Barnard
June: Choosing Stillness by Courtney Stanford and Facing Mountains of Fear by Jenni DeWitt