It was hard to admit I wrestled with angry reactions. But I grew so tired of the struggle that I started admitting it so I could move towards emotional health and freedom.
I process through words and art. So, as I came face-to-face with my sin, I penned some posts to reflect my discoveries.
I have broken things in my anger—and not just dishes. I have cut hearts and dashed spirits with my careless words and sharp responses. My anger has caused me to sink down in a jagged display of broken pieces.
Maybe you don’t lash out in your anger, maybe it festers down deep, like hot lava bubbling within as the pressure builds? You may not erupt outwardly but the sulfuric steam coats your mind in stinky thick resentment.
Your fury burns low but lethal. You withhold, you shut down, you put up the “I’m fine” sign around the edges of your heart—but you might implode at any given moment. You’re dangerous. But you temper your fury by trying to hold it together. Unfortunately, just as the anger sinks in, sin seeps out. It’s only a matter of time until you lose it all in an explosion of emotion.
-Excerpt from When an Angry Woman Meets a Kind God
Anger. I see it in them, their little faces, as the shouts come back my way. As the doors are slammed and the things are thrown, I realize I am to blame.
They learned it from me.
The time is now. It must stop. Enough already. I want to be made well.
I think many of us hide our sinful anger because we are afraid of judgment and the ramifications of our confession.
But I’m tired of trying something that isn’t working. Not only is it not working it is wearing me down and them too. It’s time for a better way.
-Excerpt from Not Hiding It Anymore
I want to lay down the rock that rages and lay upon the Rock of Ages.
I need to be brought back—away from sinking sand and onto the Rock that is steady.
I have let my feelings determine what is true. My perspective is often skewed as I rely on it to guide my steps.
I have been out of balance more than I care to admit because I let my feelings topple me over in a heap of hormones.
I need an adjustment—to be realigned so that I can stand up straight. I have been living under the weight of heavy emotions and have neglected crucial weight-lifting exercises.
But it’s time to get into shape.
-Excerpt from Dealing with Your Feelings
Join me over at The MOB (Mothers of Boys) Society as I share my journey of being an angry Mom and how God is softening my heart and teaching me a better way through the Triggers book and No More Angry MOB Facebook group…