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Katie M. Reid

Finding Grace in the Unraveling of Life

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in Adoption· Fatherhood· Reflections· Uncategorized

Happy Father’s Day (To A Father I Do Not Know)

I do not know my son’s father.
Neither does he.

Maybe he heard his voice from deep within the womb.
Would he recognize it, if he heard it now?
Picture

Imprints Photography

I have one fuzzy picture of him that she sent.
Will my son look like him, when he is 20?

I know his name.
But he doesn’t know me.

I try and find him sometimes, typing and retyping his name into the search box.
I might have found a relative, or just someone who shares his name.
But I can’t find him.
I want to, but I don’t.

What if he is angry that we are raising this boy, this one who came from him?
What is he doesn’t want anything to do with us?
What if he does?

I am worried about the day that will come, when I do not have answers for my son.
I am concerned as to how my son will take the news that his father is a stranger to us.

Picture

Imprints Photography

All I know, all that I have, I hold onto, in inbox, in heart, for him.
All I have are lines, words, from her about him.

He is a great person.
He loves to draw.
He’s very creative.
He’s very protective.
We met through mutual friends I was his first real girlfriend.
We love each other very much I will always love him.
We’ve been on and off dating for five years we are off now for several reasons.
We had a great relationship.
I haven’t talked to him lately.
He’s very loving and caring.
He likes to cook.
He turned 20 last March.

He shares the same birth month as our son.
They share the same skin color.
They share DNA.
They both have big bold eyes.
That’s what I know about this father that I do not really know.

Picture

Imprints Photography

But our son also has a father that I do know.

One whose skin does not match.
One who has different DNA.
But, one who shares a bold love for his son.

They are bonded deep, with scratchy beard kisses, and wrestling parties and discipline that protects.
This father wipes away the tears and snuggles him to sleep.
This father prayed for him before he even knew him.

Someday we hope to meet this father that we do not know.
This Father’s Day we choose to honor this stranger and hold on to what we know of him.

And today we honor this father who holds his son near, holds him close.

Picture

Alyssa Wagner Photography

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Filed Under: Adoption, Fatherhood, Reflections, Uncategorized

Previous Post: « Show ‘n Tell
Next Post: Psalm 115: Surrendering to Peace »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Emily says

    June 15, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    This was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

    • Katie Reid says

      June 15, 2014 at 11:18 pm

      Thank you Emily.:)

  2. Paula says

    June 15, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    So beautiful and touching to the heart!

    • Katie Reid says

      June 15, 2014 at 11:18 pm

      Thank you Paula.:)

  3. Marcy Hanson says

    June 16, 2014 at 12:49 am

    Katie this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • Katie Reid says

      June 16, 2014 at 9:00 am

      Thank you Marcy, from one adoptive mama to another.:)

  4. Barbie says

    June 16, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Katie, this is beautiful! Wow!

    • Katie Reid says

      June 16, 2014 at 9:01 am

      Thank you Barbie, I appreciate you.

  5. Stacey Patrick says

    June 18, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    Beautifully written!

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Hi, I'm Katie (a Modern Martha, wife, and mom to five). I'm so glad you're here! Let's enjoy some cut-to-the-chase conversation over hot or iced tea, as we find grace in the unraveling of life (together). Let's exchange try-hard striving for hope-filled freedom as we settle into our position as a doer and a daughter—created by a Loving Father.

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