Have you had a door slammed in your face?
Maybe it was at the hands of an angry child who’d had enough of your rules, lectures, and expectations? Maybe it was at the door of a neighbor as you tried to offer something they weren’t interested in? Maybe it was a potential employer who undervalued what you had to offer?
Have you recently had a door close, that you desperately wanted open?
Maybe it was a significant other deciding you weren’t “the one”? Maybe it was the door closing on a friendship because of a misunderstanding? Maybe it was a potential opportunity that was given to someone else?
Have you moved to a new town or tried to join a group, but all the friends and seats feel taken?
I understand. I’ve been there too.
It stinks to feel left out and shut out.
I don’t know about you, but when this happens to me, I often want to bang the door down and try to explain, persuade, or charm my way back in. I try to work harder to prove I’m enough, to showcase what I have to offer, to make amends so I’m not rejected.
The best advice I’ve been given when I feel shut out is this:
- Find others who feel lonely too and create a welcoming, safe space for them (Thank you Kelly Balarie for living out this message via the #RaRaLinkup and Cheerleaders 4 Christ FB Page).
- Cheer on the person who was offered the opportunity that you were hoping to receive. This will curb jealousy faster than a New York minute. Encourage someone else and watch envy crawl back to its cave (Thank you to speaker and writer, Courtney DeFeo, for inspiring this tip).
- A rejection of your project does not mean a rejection of you (Thank you to agent, Karen Neumair, for this encouragement).
- Don’t give up. It’s a journey not a sprint. Take the next step of a thousand and celebrate each victory along the way (Thank you to my Writing Sis, Laura Pearson, for this advice).
- You are Preapproved. You don’t have to earn Jesus’ love, He’s already given it to you, in Christ (Thank you Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval—and Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes and The Happiness Dare for helping this tightly wound woman see that she is enough because Christ is enough).
- You already have a seat at the table. You have special assignments from the King of Kings and He delights in you (Thank you to Heather Holleman, author of Seated in Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison, for writing a whole book about this transforming concept).
- You are loved by God even if you are left out by others (thank you to Lysa TerKeurst for communicating this important truth in her new book, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely).
When we find ourselves alone on the doorstep, we don’t have to remain stuck in shame. We can turn around, change our minds, and go knock on another door—the door of love.
We can exchange our disappointments for fresh resolve and our discouragement for encouragement as we reflect on truth and kindness. We can find grace when our circumstances unravel because sometimes a closed door is a blessing in disguise.
I am delighted to invite you over to Niki Hardy’s blog today as I guest post. I’m telling about a time when a closed door unlocked grace…
P.S. You have an open door before you to join us over at Kelly Balarie’s blog, Purposeful Faith, for the #RaRaLinkup as we encourage one another to keep going.
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