It was a year ago. The day after Mother’s Day. She was getting ready to move out-of-state and wanted to have a visit with him, her son; our son. You see, our son has two mothers. One birthmother, one adoptive mother. Both real. Both full of love for him.
We are blessed to have a fairly open adoption. One thing that has surprised me about adoption is the conflicting emotions I sometimes feel. Elation at the gift of our son, but sadness for his birthmom and him and what they have lost through adoption. Gain and loss mixed so closely together.
Some days I wish I could pretend that I am his only mom. But that is not true. We both hold roles in his life that the other cannot fill. I did not carry him in the womb, but I carried him home in my arms. I did not birth him, but I will raise him. My skin does not match his, but my love for him is vibrant in color. I do not know all the details of his medical history, but I memorize the details of his face and mannerisms.
She and I, we both mother this one. She, so brave in the giving. Me, courageous in the receiving. Sometimes it is hard to share, but, He is helping us.
On Mother’s Day, in particular, we honor our son’s birthmother. I send a message and we thank her for her role, her place in his life and in our lives.
My son has two mothers. This fact has grown me in surprising ways. It is our beautifully hard truth.
Take a moment to talk to God about how this reality affects you.
Ask the Lord to give you a verse to stand on, so that when the hard times come, you can remember His Words of hope.
Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”