• Home
  • Blog
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

Katie M. Reid

Finding Grace in the Unraveling of Life

  • Home
    • About
  • Books
    • Made Like Martha
    • A Very Bavarian Christmas
  • Blog
    • Disclosure
  • Podcast
  • Speaking
  • Coaching
    • Resources
  • Singing
  • Contact
    • Privacy Policy

in Adoption· Motherhood

My Son Has Two Mothers

My son has two mothers adoption

Sometimes the day after Mother’s Day is hard. Back to life, back to reality. Back to the stretching and shaping and giving and pouring out. And sometimes the back aches. And sometimes the heart does too…even amidst all the blessing, all the life.

It was a year ago. The day after Mother’s Day. She was getting ready to move out-of-state and wanted to have a visit with him, her son; our son. You see, our son has two mothers. One birthmother, one adoptive mother. Both real. Both full of love for him.

Our son has two mothers. One birthmother, one adoptive mother. Both real. Both full of love for him. #adoption #mothersday Click To Tweet

We are blessed to have a fairly open adoption. One thing that has surprised me about adoption is the conflicting emotions I sometimes feel. Elation at the gift of our son, but sadness for his birthmom and him and what they have lost through adoption.

Gain and loss mixed so closely together.

Picture

I love our little Strong One.

As I held him today I couldn’t hold him close enough. You see, sometimes I feel like an imposter. I have seen her face, I have hugged her slight frame. And I know that there is another who birthed him, who gave him life, who misses him, who loves him.

Sometimes I feel guilty. All those prayers we prayed, all that longing to adopt, yet, it never really sunk in that the end to our waiting would be so difficult for another.

Some days I wish I could pretend that I am his only mom.

But that is not true. We both hold roles in his life that the other cannot fill. I did not carry him in the womb, but I carried him home in my arms. I did not birth him, but I will raise him. My skin does not match his, but my love for him is vibrant in color. I do not know all the details of his medical history, but I memorize the details of his face and mannerisms.

She and I, we both mother this one. She, so brave in the giving. Me, courageous in the receiving. Sometimes it is hard to share, but, He is helping us.

She and I, we both mother this one. She, so brave in the giving. Me, courageous in the receiving. #adoption #mothersday Click To Tweet

On Mother’s Day, in particular, we honor our son’s birthmother. I send a message and we thank her for her role, her place in his life and in our lives.

My son has two mothers. This fact has grown me in surprising ways. It is our beautifully hard truth.

Picture

Alyssa & Drew Photography

What is a beautifully hard truth in your life right now?

Take a moment to talk to God about how this reality affects you.

Ask the Lord to give you a verse to stand on, so that when the hard times come, you can remember His Words of hope.

Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Katie Reid

You might also like:

Happy Father’s Day (to a Father I Do Not Know)

Adoption Journeys (Episode #20 of The Martha + Mary Show)

How “This Is Us” Give Words to My Feelings as an Adoptive Parent

Dear Mom: Some Thoughts on Expectations & Victories

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: Adoption, Motherhood Tagged With: challenge, children, family

Previous Post: « An (Extra)ordinary Mother’s Day
Next Post: Delight In Me »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Beth Harris says

    May 12, 2014 at 10:42 am

    I am in tears reading this – so transparent and real. I think I will read this many more times…and am just experiencing these feelings that you have expressed.
    Love you, friend.

  2. Katie Reid says

    May 12, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Oh Beth, thank you. I think it is a good, but hard, conversation to have with ourselves and with others. God seems to already be weaving this thoughts into your heart as He prepares you for what’s next.:)

  3. Julie Lefebure says

    May 12, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    Katie, this is beautifully transparent and real. Thank you for sharing your heart and your life with us. Your perspective on your adoption is an encouragement. My oldest brother is adopted, but he doesn’t know who his birth mom is. Hard truths change us, grow us, challenge us, and God uses them for His glory, as He’s using yours. Hugs to you this day after Mother’s Day.

    • Katie Reid says

      May 12, 2014 at 6:49 pm

      Thank you Julie. Your comments and presence here are such an encouragement!:)

  4. Charity Harris says

    May 14, 2014 at 1:19 am

    Cried and cried…beautifully written. He looks like you. I love you.

    • Katie Reid says

      May 14, 2014 at 11:02 am

      Thank you friend.:)

  5. Jeanne Takenaka says

    May 4, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    I just read your post on Huffington post (thanks to Kristen Taylor for posting it in a private FB group), and yes, YES. I know what you’re sharing here. Both our boys are adopted. Both grapple with the fact that they have two moms. Your words spoke deeply to my heart, brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself here.

    • Katie says

      May 4, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      Hi Jeanne, you are most welcome. Love to you adoptive mama!

Primary Sidebar

katie reid headshot

MEET KATIE

Hi, I'm Katie (a Modern Martha, wife, and mom to five). I'm so glad you're here! Let's enjoy some cut-to-the-chase conversation over hot or iced tea, as we find grace in the unraveling of life (together). Let's exchange try-hard striving for hope-filled freedom as we settle into our position as a doer and a daughter—created by a Loving Father.

Read More

Subscribe for regular updates & receive a free video series.

Made Like Martha

Made Like Martha
Buy Now

Echoes of My Heart

Echoes of My Heart CD
Buy Now

Favorites for You

25 affiliate resources for communicator creatives and busy women

This site uses affiliate links.
Click here to read the full disclosure.

Footer

Search This Site

Recent Posts

  • Hope in the Middle of Our Struggles with Pastor Adam Reid Part 2
  • Hope in the Middle of Our Struggles with Pastor Adam Reid
  • Time-Saving Tips for Busy Women with Crystal Paine
  • Single and Not Sorry with Ellen Wildman

Stay Connected

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2023 Katie M. Reid · Design by The Design Diva · Development by MRM

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT