Sometimes the day after Mother’s Day is hard. Back to life, back to reality. Back to the stretching and shaping and giving and pouring out. And sometimes the back aches. And sometimes the heart does too…even amidst all the blessing, all the life.
It was a year ago. The day after Mother’s Day. She was getting ready to move out-of-state and wanted to have a visit with him, her son; our son. You see, our son has two mothers. One birthmother, one adoptive mother. Both real. Both full of love for him.Our son has two mothers. One birthmother, one adoptive mother. Both real. Both full of love for him. #adoption #mothersday Click To Tweet
We are blessed to have a fairly open adoption. One thing that has surprised me about adoption is the conflicting emotions I sometimes feel. Elation at the gift of our son, but sadness for his birthmom and him and what they have lost through adoption.
I love our little Strong One.
As I held him today I couldn’t hold him close enough. You see, sometimes I feel like an imposter. I have seen her face, I have hugged her slight frame. And I know that there is another who birthed him, who gave him life, who misses him, who loves him.
Sometimes I feel guilty. All those prayers we prayed, all that longing to adopt, yet, it never really sunk in that the end to our waiting would be so difficult for another.
Some days I wish I could pretend that I am his only mom.
But that is not true. We both hold roles in his life that the other cannot fill. I did not carry him in the womb, but I carried him home in my arms. I did not birth him, but I will raise him. My skin does not match his, but my love for him is vibrant in color. I do not know all the details of his medical history, but I memorize the details of his face and mannerisms.
She and I, we both mother this one. She, so brave in the giving. Me, courageous in the receiving. Sometimes it is hard to share, but, He is helping us.
On Mother’s Day, in particular, we honor our son’s birthmother. I send a message and we thank her for her role, her place in his life and in our lives.
My son has two mothers. This fact has grown me in surprising ways. It is our beautifully hard truth.
What is a beautifully hard truth in your life right now?
Take a moment to talk to God about how this reality affects you.
Ask the Lord to give you a verse to stand on, so that when the hard times come, you can remember His Words of hope.
Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
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